Kool Mist is not good in my experience. I have tried a couple of lubes, but keep coming back to tapmatic tapping fluid. They now have an aqueous version that is not specd to be diluted, but I cut it about 3:1 with water and put it in a spray bottle with very good results, but for anything heavy, I still have to fall back to the tapping fluid.
Cutting tools . . . think in terms of chip load and not IPM. I have just completed my new mill and have not cut anything with it yet, but with my previous mill, all I could get was .001 per tooth before trouble started.
HSS if fine is the tools are excellent quality and have a smooth bright finish and are razor sharp. My experience with el-cheapo import cutters (Grizzly, etc) is exactly as you describe. Using a brand name cutter makes a huge difference.
There are some cutters that are made especially for aluminum with a higher helix and special coatings that prevent the dreaded build up on the tool. Once the aluminum melts and attached to the cutter you have only seconds before the tool snaps, so you usually wont get the chance to stop and clean the cutter.
Bottom line is you have to have sharp tools and keep them cool. Blow air on the cutter constantly to keep it cool, with or without mist. The MOST important thing is chip load. If you get that right, then the vast majority of the heat will go overboard with the chip. If you get it wrong, the heat goes into the workpiece and the cutter.
Oh yeah and the two most important words in aluminum cutting: climb mill.