OK,
Removed ground jumped between the relay common and the analog ground next to the 0-10v pin on the BOB leaving 0-10v pin connected to 0-10v input on vfd.
Big change.
Assigned port 1 and pin 2 for Active 1 and output 2. Relay latching. I get 12v at the relay terminals and relay latching. Turned PWM back on in spindle config and I get terrible resonant noise from spindle. Turned it off before it would damage anything.
Progress. I feel like I am close.